CHAPTER 5: THE CHOICE OF LOVE

THE CHOICE OF LOVE

Sometimes we think we are on the right path of our life’s or we found the real purpose, but we aren’t. The most important thing is to acknowledge that we have not and find a new direction as soon as possible. While seeing DE and thinking that a relationship would be a possibility, someone else came in my life. While doing groceries on my free day, I saw this person constantly staring at me. At some point, I couldn’t take it anymore and walked in the direction of this person. They suddenly asked me if I was crew. It’s usually pretty obvious here when someone is crew. I replied with a smile and said yes and you? GB shyly replied yes. We started talking about the date of joining and that it is hard to adapt here in the middle east. We agreed on many subjects and as the time flew by and the conversation got more interesting, it was time for me to finish my groceries and rush back home. GB asked me my contact details and I gave them correctly. As I said goodbye to GB and left, I thought to myself pretty interesting person but didn’t really think about it anymore. However I did receive  a direct message.

From that day on, we started talking every day via WhatsApp. I wasn’t sure, whether I  should tell DE or not. I mean nothing was serious at that time. Should you tell the person you are dating that you are seeing or talking to another person as well? For me, I just try to date one person at a time. Ahaha. GB is very quiet at times, responsible, not that that good-looking but intelligent. I won’t lie, beauty is important, but over the years it became less important for me. A good heart and intelligence are of the utmost importance to me. Imagine being in a relationship with someone good-looking, but the person can’t talk about anything with you...

As the weeks went by I started seeing GB more and more. I even got invited to breakfast, no one has ever offered me homemade breakfast before. Very caring and sweet right? I started to like GB more and more. I don’t know why, but I develop feelings for people very fast. We started going out for dinners on the Fridays, we drank, danced and had fun together. But GB didn’t really enjoy it like I did and didn’t really drink as well. This started to be an issue, also the fact that GB didn’t reply consciously to messages. I want attention when I want it and not when u feel like giving it to me, very demanding! And maybe spoiled haha. But let’s be honest, who responds 4 hours later? The thing is, in a relationship whether it’s a love one or not, I give everything with my heart and In a way, I expect the very same back... I know we shouldn’t expect anything back because that’s where the disappointment starts..but life just works likes that… I guess?

Well during those weeks (basically Friday’s), I was still seeing DE and I was constantly in a dilemma. I mean DE was this person who I could have fun with for the rest of my life and that’s what life is all about. Having fun, enjoying together, supporting and having a home together. This is what DE surely could give me and that’s the ideal situation for me. GB, on the other hand, was the serious, responsible but caring type, which could keep a possible relationship stable. Stability is the key factor in everything we do and maybe I needed that in life. Not that my life is not stable, it surely is but only one person can be the clown right? And that’s me! In a relationship you should compliment eachother, if two people are the same, it will never work out. Thinking about all this, I really needed to make a choice, fully focus on one person and see whether it would work out or not. Choosing between two people means you will lose one of them and if it doesn’t work out the chance of going to the other one is 0.01%. Well, I was willing to take that risk, responsibility and accept the consequences. Having this all in my head, I went to bed and thought about it one last time.

I woke up the next morning from a good night’s rest and made my decision. This time I will choose someone who could possibly be responsible, keep my feet on the ground (like my best friend KD) and who is very caring. I chose GB over DE. Looking back, I wasn’t really satisfied with the way I told DE…Well, that choice is made, I felt a great relief and still thought I made the right decision in a way. That was what I kept on saying to myself.

As training was almost over, GB and I kept seeing each other on the Fridays. But things suddenly changed....GB was constantly complaining about my childish behavior and attitude. Still, GB was very caring and sweet at the time. I didn’t really get it, I mean, I’m just full of life and I like enjoying it to the fullest. It didn’t feel right, it made me feel bad in a way, but I ignored it. At some point, GB wasn’t really paying attention anymore and didn’t really reply to my messages, which I found really weird. As some days went by, I received a phone call and discovered that GB was living a double life…………….